Santa Leaves Poor Kids A Letter Warning The Perils Of Raising Minimum Wage

"I know you are probably dreading the return to school where all your friends and teachers will excitedly discuss their favorite presents and little trips their families took over Christmas break, but this year you will not come empty-handed to the conversation. I'm gifting you information," the letter opened. "Did you know that raising the … Continue reading Santa Leaves Poor Kids A Letter Warning The Perils Of Raising Minimum Wage

CDC Determines Nicki Minaj’s Cousin’s Friend’s Balls Like That Already

After Nicki Minaj's Tweet sparked concern that the COVID vaccine caused a cousin's friend's testicles to become so swollen that his fiancĂ© had to bail on their wedding, CDC Director Rochelle Walensky took immediate action. "I called up my good friend Dr. Fauci, who immediately booked a flight to Trinidad with one goal in mind: … Continue reading CDC Determines Nicki Minaj’s Cousin’s Friend’s Balls Like That Already

Phelps Got Hello Kitty Tramp Stamp To Celebrate Tokyo Olympics, Not Because He Got Sad And Drunk

"I am so happy for Caeleb Dressel. Happy. So happy. I am so happy, you know? To see all I worked for in the rearview mirror. It's a great feeling. I love it here. I love being a commentator, and I don't even miss the pool at all. How many medals does one man need? … Continue reading Phelps Got Hello Kitty Tramp Stamp To Celebrate Tokyo Olympics, Not Because He Got Sad And Drunk

Biden Damn Near Loses Finger Fishing Fireworks ‘Dud’ Out Of Beer Can

Doctors worked quickly to save President Joe Biden's right pointer finger after he lost it in a home fireworks mishap. "Dang sparkler thing wouldn't go off. We waited and waited. Jilly told me to just let it go, but I knew if I could just get in there that dang Budweiser can and re-light it, … Continue reading Biden Damn Near Loses Finger Fishing Fireworks ‘Dud’ Out Of Beer Can