"Joe was playing chords on his guitar and accidentally coughed, and it kind of came out as "casbargh." We didn't know what that meant, but we liked the sound of it, so we all started chanting "casbah, casbah, casbah," and then it naturally developed from there. No idea what it means, but it's fun to sing, innit?"
“Look at these people I made, especially the ones of genus ‘Dipshittius Americanus.’ I thought I’d endowed them with brains, common sense, diplomacy, insight, compassion – everything that comes standard in the ‘Decent Human Being’ upgrade package. Yet a lot of them are behaving like complete whack jobs. You’d think I downgraded them to the ‘Mother Fucking Asshole’ package.”
"Fifty years ago, our bootstrap supply was flourishing. But with our current state of manufacturing, we haven't successfully received a bootstrap since 1992. Truthfully, the only viable alternative at this point would be to seize the means of bootstrap production."
Last I heard, Britain didn't have hospitals running out of beds and bankrupting millions, but by all means, enjoy having to pay slightly less for tea.
"Yes, money is the only real tool to acquire resources," said the vagabond. "But this sage benefactor knew that I would just spend that money on alcohol. By donating food instead, he freed me from this mental prison and showed me you can overcome anything with enough sandwiches. I can only thank him for knowing what's best for me, more than I ever could."
Bradford, NH— Former girlfriend of Jeffrey Epstein, Ghislaine Maxwell, was arrested Thursday by the FBI and charged with playing a key role in his alleged sex-trafficking operation. Witnesses describe Maxwell as frail and struggling to walk, and one said that he cannot possibly see a judge being too harsh on such a poor woman. "She … Continue reading Epstein’s Girlfriend Arrested For Role In Sex Trafficking Ring
"It's been tough going with this pandemic and civil unrest, but if nothing else, it will be good training for the no-more-coffee crisis, no-more-pollinators crisis, no-more-water crisis, no-more-Virgin Islands crisis, and the inevitable no-more-topsoil crisis," remarked every single person born after 1990.
“Our liberties were at stake during World War 2 just as they are now. Freedom isn't free, and if we need to deploy thousands of troops onto European beaches and take out countless lives so we can have the freedom to tour Europe's many beautiful countries while not wearing masks or social distancing, so be it!”
"We all know that fresh air is best, and because we care about the safety of our travelers, we're doing all we can to get that good air into the cabin."
After two two months of quarantine, Netflix user Tom Miller has binged every series on the streaming service, with the exceptions of Fuller House and Iron Fist. "After I watched the last episode of 13 Reasons Why, Netflix added a new category, Shows You Haven't Already Watched. The list consisted of a sequel to a … Continue reading Netflix Viewer Down To Fuller House Or Iron Fist