"You can all have some of my cash, because I want this to be a fair fight, and right now I am destroying you."
Homeless Man Squeegees Off Ash Wednesday Forehead Dirt
Here, let me.
Bloomberg Says Racist Statements Not Accurate Reflection Of His White Supremacism
“When presented out of context, these comments I made years ago unfairly make me appear to be just a garden variety bigot, and represent a watered down version of my views about the dominance of the white race.”
Boy Scouts Selling 50 Years Worth Of Naked Scout Photos To Finance Abuse Settlements
"The Vatican immediately entered the initial bid. In fact, the only bid. Then they insisted on bidding against themselves for the next 24 hours. After that, NAMBLA jumped in with their offer, and the prices went through the roof."
Coexist Sticker Really Sticking It To Those Intolerant, Bootlicking Trumpster Fucks
Read it out loud, you soulless, bigoted right-wingers! It says COEXIST. That means we all have to share this planet, no matter how different we are, you racist, Trumplethinskin-loving pieces of shit!
4 Adam Sandler Films That Are Pure Trash But Still Made More Money Than You Ever Will
That $38 million dollar estate you just inherited makes you the envy of all your friends and coworkers, but you're struggling to understand how a movie as wholly unnecessary as Grown Ups 2 is still $79 million more successful than you.
Aging Man Eager To Go Deaf So He Can’t Hear Younger Generation’s Shitty Music
“I can't stand these new artists,” Berner griped, “XXXTentacion, Image Dragons, Ariana Venti... they all sound the same!”
Department of Education Declares Suicide Quickest Method To Clear Student Loans
“While it may seem extreme and highly controversial, we see that offing yourself is the fastest way to do away with your debts.”
Boy Scouts Declare Moral Bankruptcy
“This is an important step in untethering our organization from any ethical or other obligations we might owe the men who were sexually abused as Boy Scouts, and freeing up resources to concentrate on covering our own behinds."
Bloomberg Gets Restraining Order After Being Pistol-Whipped By Warren
According to the police report, "She said it was just a routine stop-and-frisk, but it did not feel routine. The Senator attacked Mr. Bloomberg, repeatedly hammering him with what she called 'good policy.' He was left with multiple bruises to both his face, and his ego. He is seeking a restraining order for duration of … Continue reading Bloomberg Gets Restraining Order After Being Pistol-Whipped By Warren