"We just figured that by now we would have met at least one girlfriend. I know my mom is really sad about it."
After her husband died in a tragic fire accident while lighting a cross on his neighbor's lawn, Maureen continued living in the house until her death there in 1976.
"This thing has so much room inside I could easily fit an entire Lego City Police Mobile Command Center and still have room for a few Duplos for the baby."
“I pretty much had to forget everything I knew about wheels. The shape was definitely the hardest part,” Tollis said.
“Don’t you know who I am? I’m James goddamn Taylor, fuck you,” before violently swiping a napkin dispenser and varied condiments onto the floor.
The other guys were all like, 'Oooh, noo, he’ll turn me into a serpent,' and peeing their pants. I just walked up and cuffed him. I did then disintegrate into a smoldering heap of pea-green vomit, but I bounced right back.”
“I might need to just get out of the house for a few minutes. Or if I was having an affair with one of the wife’s friends. Saying I need to go to the store for cigarettes doesn’t sound suspicious at all.”