Savannah, GA —

Explaining that the newness of life had already begun to fade, three week old Abby Johnston got her soft, fleshy ears pierced this week in an effort to make herself more beautiful.

Johnston made the decision to go from a cute baby to a hot baby by getting gold earrings shot into her tiny earlobes by a needle gun. “Yeah, it hurt like hell, but I knew I needed something to separate myself from the other babies. If you look good, you feel good. These gold studs have made me instantly more attractive,” Johnston told reporters.

Currently, Johnston is fighting an infection due to a small tear in her right lobe when she got it caught on her blankie. She told reporters the doctor said she will be all better once she finishes her antibiotics like a good girl. It should be noted that since getting the earrings Johnston has been invited to five play-dates, and is expecting an invite for a one-on-one from the totally hot three month old Hannah Archer whose mom knows her mom from Gymboree.

By Emily Sanchez