Pittsburgh, PA —

A team of evolutionary biologists at the University of Pittsburgh has renounced over 150 years of research into their field, reportedly after witnessing a funny meme on the internet that disputed their findings.

“You have to understand,” said head researcher Graham Seger, who has since left his job to live in the mountains and ponder everything he thought he understood. “Most memes disputing evolution are inane beyond all belief. But this one was actually funny.”

The researchers refused to disclose the content of the meme for fear of the chaos it would cause within the scientific community. However, this morning, our sources were able to reveal it was related to the “continued existence of apes, the unshakable word of our LORD, and sharing if you agree.”

Tina Thorpe, a distinguished professor with a primary focus on genomic biodiversity, told reporters between swigs from a flask, “It’s fucked. Everything’s fucked. I hope a plague destroys us all.”

While the university’s Department of Biological Science has not yet entirely shut down, members of faculty say the future looks grim. “We saw how Christian meme-makers decimated the climate science field. In fact, we’ve even had colder winters since the memes started. We were warned about the perils of man veering from God’s law, and we did nothing.”

“WE DID NOTHING!” added another researcher, shaking his head urgently before eventually breaking into tears.

By William Boffa, Image Edit: Eric Drewes