"He doesn't realize the strain that this puts on her whole family. The stress of which is causing her gout to flare up, so now she will have to watch what she eats when she goes out for Chinese with Tina on Tuesday."
Old, worn-out t-shirts are for homeless people. Impress him with your style and class by mopping yourself off with a delicate, handmade lace cravat. He will be sure to reward your efforts by bringing you some post-coital tea and biscotti.
“One minute he was playing with blocks right in front of me, but then right after I finished up an hour of texting my boyfriend pictures of me naked in the bathroom, Jimmy was gone,”
"I'm afraid... I have lymphoma, and at this point, I just need you to tell me if its Hodgkin's or Non-Hodgkin's."
"Mission Accomplished. This has been a 24-year bloody battle against the most nefarious threat to mankind ever conceived, and finally, after countless casualties and incalculable property damage, the forces of Foo have offered their unconditional surrender."
"...we’re not Tutor Time or a nanny service. If you need time away from your kids that badly, hire a goddamn babysitter."
Never mind that several other passengers have exited the bus at their respective stops, leaving an array of available seats. It is you two against the world now. The bond can not be broken!