"Their hand-drawn chalk menu was littered with words like 'local,' 'free range,' and 'organic.' I can't trust anyone who puts that much thought and care into a taqueria."
"It's unnerving, really, you look at all the ways humanity could be wiped out at any given moment." The asteroid noted, "I hope when I crash into the Earth there are still people around to witness it. My father was responsible for ending the dinosaurs, so I feel like I have a big crater to fill."
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Ever since He found me, He's been guiding my life in ways I couldn't have imagined. Really, nothing ever prepares you for being chained against your will in a stranger's basement!
“Tiny is up to 350 pounds and is cutting down on red meat and carbs. After four heart attacks, he realizes he needs to lose some weight. Good for him. Psycho"—nickname not ironic—"is going to cut back on the meth. He is on his third set of full dentures. Killer has a traumatic brain injury and he needs to stay out of the bar fights. His doctor told him that one more bottle broken over his head could put him in a coma."