A Very Tidy Room –
In a world of noise and clutter, Marie Kondo has built an empire on tidying up. While her focus on purging one’s home of things that no longer “spark joy” may seem like lunacy to many in the Western world, that is only because Westerners, specifically Americans, like to fill every orifice of their homes with utter garbage. Why all the knickknacks and old books? You degenerates have not read a book in years. You people do not dust. You cannot even properly fold a sheet with your fat fingers. This is why you are all so anxious and medicated. Your whole news feed cannot reside in your treasure box. Not everything is a treasure.
Using the KonMari method, go through your inbox, look at your friends, and your family. You had better start making some cuts. Your time on earth is limited, why are you spending it with your mother-in-law? What are you doing still reading this article? Surely, it is causing you misery. Our team shared this with Kondo, and she declared it to be “a joy thief.” This simply cannot be speaking to your heart right now.
Get rid of it. Thank the author for their service. Express your gratitude. Share it with a friend. But for the love of everything that is pure and clean, make the choice. Right now. Throw away this particular article.
Choose carefully which articles to keep. Perhaps this one has sparked joy for you and will continue to do so for years to come. This dad knew that he might need to toss his family some day, and his awareness is liberating. But if that report stops producing joy too, then toss it. Look at all those dusty old screenshots you have in your phone. Delete them. You cannot live in the past. What are you so afraid of? Do you think there will never be another meme, or funny story that speaks to your heart? You don’t have enough storage space for all of this junk. We wish you well.
By Emily Sanchez
