Washington, D.C. —

If you’ve ever been curious about exactly how much semen will pool in your belly button over your lifetime, you now have your answer: 14.78 gallons. That is what a joint study from the National Health Institute and American Society for Reproductive Medicine has concluded the national average to be. The study, which examined almost 16,000 adults from every state in the U.S. and cost $70 million in funding, found that the 14.78 gallons (or 38.4 fluid ounces of hot jizz per year) barely differed between men and women. In the case of heterosexual women, the majority of pooling was caused by ill-conceived coitus interruptus (better known as the “pull-out method”), often followed by laying in discomfort waiting for a towel; in the case of heterosexual men, most naval spermatozoa accumulation occurred from masturbation without proper tools for absorption. Regardless, by the time you are dead, it will likely be enough to fill a regular-sized fish aquarium.

Furthermore, the study has been broken down by state and acknowledges the cultural practices that come into play when measuring such information. On the lowest end of the scale is Nebraska, with only 6.34 gallons per lifetime, with participants preferring to aim semen towards various other body parts, most notably the eyes. Meanwhile, the state with the most naval pooling was Utah, with a whopping 28 gallons per lifetime (roughly 12 fluid ounces per week), largely attributed to the belly button’s low titillation compared to other body parts, safe distance to the genitals, and Utah’s generally high prevalence of soaking. Researchers say this demonstrates the belly button’s functionality not just as a convenient absorption pool, but also as a potential tool for harvesting sperm.

How much semen do you think your belly button has collected this year? Does your experience differ from the research? Let us know in the comments!

By William Boffa, Image Edit: Andrew Froese