You’ve noticed her moodiness heightening over the last day or so. Well, if she’s got something to say, she should just say it. Whatever, you’re not going to pry. If she wants to be like that, then that’s on her. She should try being a grown-up some time. You casually asked her to pick up some snacks for the game. “You know the kind. Steve had them at his party last year. Just get a few of those.” She mumbled something about maybe you should pick up the snacks, since they’re obviously your friends, and you clearly know what you want from the store.
This morning, you thought things were getting back to normal because she actually left coffee for you, instead of dumping it into the sink. Feeling optimistic, and not wanting anything to ruin the game for you and your boys, you hesitantly asked, “How are you this morning?”
Uh-oh.
A critical error, friend. “HOW DO YOU THINK I AM?” She didn’t want to talk right then. “Whatever, nothing, it’s fine.” You see, you should already know what’s upsetting her. It’s so obvious, but you never seem to pay attention. “We’ll talk later.” Now you know, you just know, that she will want to talk right during kickoff. If, by some small chance, she does not motion you into the kitchen then, you can rest uneasy that with each bout of laughter during the commercials, her anger will only grow. This fight will not keep until after the game. When you are at your peak happiness, she will make her move to stand directly in front of the television during the play that leaves everyone else talking. Not you, though. Because you will have missed it.
Good luck.
If his girlfriend would prefer to be on the receiving end of the best oral sex of her life, send her over to my condo.