Akron, OH –

After a series of screw-ups at work, Joseph Cameron knew he had to come up with a plan to boost his standing among his coworkers. “I’m starting to get the feeling some people in my department don’t like me, especially after I accidentally deleted all those files for the Watson job two days before it was due,” the 28-year-old data entry specialist explained as he stood in line at a local bakery. “Everybody gets excited when someone brings in food, so I’m really hoping this does the trick to increase my popularity around the office.”

Upon arrival at work, Cameron’s coworkers immediately took notice of the dozen donuts and box of coffee precariously balanced in his arms. His anxiously furrowed brow gave way to a confident smile as he slid the refreshments on a centrally located file cabinet.

The incompetent clerk’s sense of triumph was quickly dashed when senior analyst Ken Lloyd lifted the lid of the large rectangular box, revealing twelve old-fashioned donuts
“I mean, one or two old-fashioneds, sure, but an entire fucking box? What kind of idiot can’t comprehend maintaining a proper plain-to-frosted ratio is imperative?” Lloyd grumbled in annoyance, “At least he brought coffee, I guess.”

At press time, the disgruntled coworkers had completely shunned Mr. Cameron after discovering the coffee was decaf.

By Kendra Coleman, Image Edit: Emily Sanchez