Palm Beach Zoo, FL —
After reviewing security footage, police have released a sketch of the suspected simian snatcher. “We do not think this man in yellow attire means to harm the monkey, but we fear that Kali’s own curious nature may get her into trouble. He may have had a hat with him, but the footage was a bit grainy.”
Some zoo officials have speculated Kali may have gone willingly with the man. Sources close to the zoo admitted that, for the past ten years, Kali has frequently been spotted using her limited ability with sign language to signal, “Get me the fuck out of here.”
Authorities and zoo officials are worried that she is off her meds and are pleading with the public for her safe return.
By Kendra Coleman, Joe Lichtblau, and Emily Sanchez