Even Alex Trebek was biting his lower lip on the set of Jeopardy! today, as contestant Kamala Harris took a long pause trying to choose between the two remaining categories, “I Time Traveled” and “I Smoked Weed While Prosecuting Drug Crimes.”

Up to that point, the Jeopardy! Presidential Candidates Tournament had been moving along swiftly, as the contestants tore through categories such as “Maybe I Meant Indian Like Ghandi,” “America’s Problems Are All Tall, Venti, Or Grande,” “I Beat My Staff But Not In The Fun Way,” and “Everything I Touch Turns To Free.” Then it was Harris’s turn to pick a new category.

Sources familiar with Harris’ thinking say that, on the one hand, Harris felt comfortable with “I time traveled,” having recently claimed that she listened to Snoop Dogg and Tupac while getting stoned in the 1980s, a decade before either artist released music. 

On the other hand, the sources report, Harris also thought she could amass winnings in “I Smoked Weed While Prosecuting Drug Crimes,” because, if Harris was getting high while listening to Snoop and Tupac  after they actually released albums in the 1990s, then she would have been a criminal prosecutor at the time.

At press time, Harris was demanding that Trebek offer her a third category — “My Entire Persona Is Fake”  — even though it was not on the board.

By Joe Lichtblau