St. Paul, MN —

Make-A-Wish Foundation, the charitable organization which brings the dreams of terminally ill children to life, is in the crosshairs once again, this time for fulfilling the request of a gravely ill Minneapolis girl to ship $40,000,000 worth of surface-to-air missiles, armored vehicles, land mines, and firearms to Kurdish insurgents at the Turkish-Syrian border.

“It was certainly bad judgment on the part of our Minnesota chapter,” said David A. Williams, CEO of Make-A-Wish’s national organization. “We take the dreams of dying children very seriously. But at a minimum, we should have gently urged the girl to start with light munitions before scaling up to heavier artillery.”

This is not the first time Make-A-Wish has become embroiled in controversy. In 2005, the organization was roundly criticized for kidnapping an eight-year-old leukemia patient’s third-grade teacher and beating the woman with golf clubs for several hours while the bedridden child gleefully looked on.

The following year, the organization came under heavy attack again in the media, when it brought several ounces of cocaine, two strippers, and a case of tequila to a twelve year-old’s hospital room.

The Kurds who received the weapons said they were grateful for the gift, and promised young Mary Ellen Thompson, the Hodgkins-lymphoma-stricken child who made the request, that they would think of her whenever they shot down a Turkish passenger plane or incinerated Turkish troops. 

Meanwhile, according to hospital sources, seven year-old Mary Ellen herself remained blissfully unaware of the national furor her wish had provoked.

“Mary Ellen’s in her bed playing with her Barbie and Ken dolls,” said a nurse who asked to remain anonymous. The nurse added, “Mary Ellen likes to pretend that Barbie has infiltrated Ken’s compound during a pre-dawn raid and set his entire family on fire. It’s one of her favorite play-time fantasies.”

By Joe Lichtblau

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