Up to that point, the Jeopardy! Presidential Candidates Tournament had been moving along swiftly, as the contestants tore through categories such as “Maybe I Meant Indian Like Ghandi,” “America’s Problems Are All Tall, Venti, Or Grande,” “I Beat My Staff But Not In The Fun Way,” and “Everything I Touch Turns To Free.”
#8: She always carries adobo seasoning in her purse. #9: She's uncomfortable with how dangerously you drive.
"I can't imagine being that way. When a woman tells me that mansplaining exists, I make a special effort to hear her out, let her express herself fully, before slowly explaining to her how she's wrong."
My life motto was all about expanding my circle of compassion. But gradually, after thirty years being stuck in a low-paying job and an unfulfilling marriage, you learn that the safest thing to do is to take in your hand that circle of compassion and squeeze it into the size of a tiny, tiny raisin.
I ask that you free my slaves. If it's not too much trouble. I don't like to be a bother. Please let them know that they have been good slaves, and that I have valued them, despite never having paid them.
Legend has it that on the third Monday of every February, Abraham Lincoln crawls down the chimney to deliver The Gettysburg Address to all the good boys and girls. "It's here! It's here!" Little Timmy has waited all year for his favorite day when Abraham Lincoln shows up in his hat and beard and double-breasted wool … Continue reading Millions Of Children Giddily Excited For Washington’s Birthday