Hong Kong —

In what’s being hailed as a brilliant, innovative timesaver, luggage giant Samsonite has unveiled the first pre-packed suitcase. The aptly-named PrePack retails for $350 and consumers are already loving it.

“I hate packing!” said Cindy Morgan of St. Petersburg. “So this suitcase was a dream come true last month. So what if most of the clothes in there didn’t fit me, or that it was all summer stuff when I was going skiing. The point is, I didn’t have to pack. Are you hearing me?”

Samsonite has stocked every PrePack with travel goodies galore so that you’re never without the essentials a good 40% of the time. “It’s pretty important that I always pack my EpiPen,” said Steve Schwartz. “That’s why I got the Medical PrePack. It had EpiPens. It also had a CPAP machine, several limb prostheses, defibrillators, and a nurse. It was a bit excessive and hard to carry, but it got the job done.”

Company spokesperson Alan Wheeler said they’re having trouble keeping the PrePack in stock. “It’s amazingly popular. People will do anything not to have to pack, and we are finding that a grab bag of random items is good enough,” Wheeler said while wearing a sundress from his own PrePack.

It’s rumored that several other entities may jump on this type of convenience bandwagon. Expected soon are discount eyeglasses if you’re willing to take any old prescription, instant diplomas in the field of someone else’s choice, and City Hall marriages you can sign up for with a pre-picked fiancé.

By Holly Love, Image Edit: Emily Sanchez