The shockwaves following New Zealand Prime Minster Jacinda Ardern’s announcement that her country will be banning all military-style semi-automatic weapons, assault rifles and high-capacity magazines have spread across the world, most notably in the United States, where the nation’s citizens and politicians are outraged with this direct violation of the Second Amendment.
“Taking away high-capacity weapons from ordinary citizens is unconstitutional. I don’t care what country you come from,” Birmingham native Dwight Johnston reports. “A mere 228 years ago, we protected the rights of Americans — and, by extension of that, everyone around the world — to bear arms. What happens when the next terrorist comes along? As they say in New Zealand, ‘It takes a good Kiwi with a gun to stop a bad Kiwi with a gun.’ Probably.”
The GOP is also speaking out against this atrocity. “When this great nation was formed,” Senator Mitch McConnell announced, “it was done so on the principle that we would never let another nation tell us what to do. Our founding fathers knew that the best way to avoid being oppressed was to be the ones doing the oppressing. You can’t take on the world without big guns. The fact that New Zealand would dream of violating the Second Amendment is just a slap in the face to this great nation. This isn’t the New Zealand that George Washington envisioned.”
Trump also expressed himself on Twitter, “Would expect nothing less from a female politician. Too emotional. Probably bleeding out of her whatever. Willing to put her citizens’ lives before the constitution. Pathetic.”
NRA Spokesperson Dana Loesch provided her frustration on the matter: “Firstly, our thoughts and prayers are with the guns. We’re extremely saddened to hear New Zealand has decided to enact gun control without our input. We can at least take comfort in the fact that, if this proposal makes it through legislation, we’ll be hitting up New Zealand for all those assault rifles and semi-automatics they no longer need. I’m sure there are public school teachers in Florida who need them.”