Medicine Hat, AB —

Beloved father of three Darren Elias has been motionless, reclined in his favorite living room chair for nearly forty-five minutes. As his family stirred about him, he jolted slightly to announce, “Just resting my eyes.” Initial assumptions of him being asleep were proven wrong when one child attempted to change the channel. “Within seconds of grabbing the TV remote out of Dad’s loose grip,” eldest daughter Janelle divulged, “he informed me, eyes closed, that he is still watching ‘that show.'” We tried reaching out to Mr. Elias to clarify which show “that” was, but his barely audible mumblings drifted off into a snore.

By Andrew Froese