Milwaukee, WI —

After twelve years of hard saving, Darla and John Whitaker were thrilled to finally afford to have the house-shaped mailbox of their dreams. “We scrimped and saved until we knew we could make it into something we’d be proud to live right behind at the other end of the driveway,” said John. “And just look at ‘er now! Before the reno, it was covered in bird shit. It was embarrassing how it was missing fake windows and shutters. And there was no addition – which, no worries, we did get a proper permit for. We finally got the look we wanted, too – a mix of Pueblo Postal, Mediterranean Mail, and Log Cabin Letter.”

“The neighbors are so jealous!” added Darla with a squeak of delight. “But we invite them over to the mailbox house for drinks and stand around leaning on it. We may be mailbox-house-poor now, but it was worth it. Don’t forget we also had to insure the thing. You wouldn’t believe how many insurance companies don’t even carry policies for house-shaped mailboxes. WTF? We’re also a bit nervous about getting too high of a tax assessment on it now.”

“I put in a real fireplace,” continued John, “which the mice who live in there seem to really appreciate. It also has a WiFi network, so it can receive mail AND e-mail. We spared no expense,” he added, clinking a glass of boxed wine with his wife’s. “I do get pissed off when dogs come along and pee on the post. I mean, a man’s house-shaped mailbox is his castle, and this one’s mine.”

Mused John, “Next year we’re going to add a half-car garage and some solar panels. It’ll be great for those to help defray the 42-cent monthly electric bill.”

The Whitakers’ sprawling two-square-foot mailbox house is expected to be listed in an upcoming issue of Mailbox Realty Weekly. “We won’t actually follow through and sell it, of course,” John said. “But we’ll just have so much fun holding the open houses and giving prospective buyers the twenty-second tour.”

By Holly Love, Image Edit: Emily Sanchez