Speaking at a town hall on Wednesday, rising Democratic presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg denounced claims that lobbyist donations would affect his policies, should he adopt policies at some point.
“I may be the only main contender taking significant amounts of money from Washington lobbyists,” said Buttigieg, “but let me be clear: These donations will not affect my non-existent policies in any way.”
Buttigieg’s campaign manager pointed out that none of his donations came from fossil fuel companies or corporate PACs, and even if they had, he already pinky-swore that the donations were just generous gifts that had no relation to anything political. “Really, it’s quite idiotic of the lobbyist. They know he’s not going to do what they say, yet for some mysterious reason, they still insist on handing over large sums of cash.”
Buttigieg supporter Vance Danby said that with so many purity tests going on within the Democratic party, it’s relieving to have a candidate who “isn’t afraid to stand up, get lots of money, basically stand for nothing in particular, and sit back down again. I was for Beto at first, but Buttigieg is doing what he does a lot better. In my eyes, well-funded centrism is the new punk rock.”
But other voters have different ideas. Speaking outside an Elizabeth Warren rally, college graduate Joel Lightblue said of Buttigieg, “Normally, I would be concerned when a charming, likable candidate struggles to articulate any concrete plans. But given his allusions to implementing mandatory national service, that thing he said about Chick-Fil-A, and that other thing about not granting prisoners more rights, I’m honestly just glad he’s keeping it vague. I don’t want to know what he really thinks.”