The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is calling it one of the greatest comeback tours to date.
Wilmington, DE — Officially announcing his bid for the Presidency of the United States, Vice President Joe Biden joked with a group of reporters that, "At least no one can accuse me of being out of touch. In fact, I'm very in touch. I've been told it's a problem."
Buttigieg supporter Vance Danby said that with so many purity tests going on within the Democratic party, it's relieving to have a candidate who "isn't afraid to stand up, get lots of money, basically stand for nothing in particular, and sit back down again."
"It just feels so good to admit that the best way to serve our constituents is by staying in power. You know which politicians lose power? The ones who do something."
By Zachary James Wood