Reno, NV –

Having absolutely no recollection of being kidnapped and drugged, and the subsequent removal of her reproductive organs, local tabby cat Mittens can’t wait to have children someday. Ever since Mittens spotted a mama cat with her kittens from her stoop, she has dreamed of the day she will have a litter of her own. Mittens hopes for a litter of five; three girls and two boys. That will be perfect! She will love them and they will love her. She will keep them warm and safe. Oh, how Mittens looks forward to experiencing the bond only felt between a mother and child suckling from the teat. What else could there possibly be to live for? Mittens also fantasizes about meeting a handsome tomcat and getting married, even though she will probably never leave the house or meet another cat as long as she shall live.

By Tommi Becker