Bellingham, WA —

Facing increasing criticism that they haven’t released a good album since 2005, indie rock band Death Cab for Cutie has undergone a complete rebranding, now going by the name Death Lyft for Cutie.

“It’s not just a name change,” said former Death Cab For Cutie’s lead vocalist Ben Gibbard. “It’s a complete disruption of our business model.”

“For example,” said Gibbard, “only fans who download our app will have access to our next album. And only if they have the serial number. We’re serious about protecting our fans from getting into the wrong music. There are some dangerous bands out there.”

“On the plus side,” said Gibbard, “most fans will be able to buy our music at a great discount. Unless a lot of them want the album at once. Then the price will shoot way up for a while.”

“We can offer our dedicated fans such an incredible deal because everyone other than us who’s working on the album — all the producers, sound techs, engineers, agents, graphic designers, marketing people — very graciously offered their labor for practically nothing. The band members will be getting almost all the money.”

By Joe Lichtblau