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Month: June 2019

June 28, 2019June 28, 2019 Zach Englund Uncategorized

Restaurant Given Terrible Yelp Rating For Being Closed When Customer Arrived

Despite all of this information being accessible to anyone with Internet access, John S., who has zero Yelp friends and eight other one-star reviews, posted a scathing critique to spread the word that the restaurant "DONT GIV A SHIT ABOUUT CUSTOMERS."

June 27, 2019February 27, 2020 Joe Lichtblau Politics

James Holzhauer Nails Final Debate Question For Easy Victory

June 27, 2019December 23, 2019 Emily Sanchez Uncategorized

Genealogy Test Reveals You Ain’t Shit

Of course, you didn't need a DNA test to tell you this.

June 27, 2019July 3, 2019 Emily Sanchez Uncategorized

Biden Takes Deep Breath Of Moderator’s Hair To Calm Nerves Before Debate

June 27, 2019June 27, 2019 Paul Klingle Uncategorized

Kavanaugh Reaffirms Stance On Taking Advantage Of Drunk, Unconscious People

“When a person is unconscious, others need to make decisions on their behalf. I know I've certainly had to."

June 27, 2019December 15, 2019 Catricia Uncategorized

Man Playing Vibraslap Drowning In Pussy

“I’m getting laid so much, I feel like my dick might fall off if I don’t take a break. I’m going to switch back to the bass for a few nights just so my cock and I can get some rest.”

June 26, 2019 Emily Sanchez Uncategorized

Beto O’Rourke Works On Last Minute Debate Prep

2020

June 26, 2019June 26, 2019 William Boffa Uncategorized

Man Refuses To Like Heartwarming Post About Child With Cancer Until It Does Something About Its Fucking Grammar

"It combines all the most wretched experiences of humanity: cancer, giving your life for a greater cause, grieving parents, run-on sentences, and ellipses with five dots."

June 24, 2019July 21, 2019 Joe Lichtblau Uncategorized

Trump Tells Supporters ‘We Had War With Iran, We Won, There Is No More Iran’

By Joe Lichtblau

June 24, 2019June 25, 2019 Zach Englund Uncategorized

Oasis Pleads to Nation to Stop Playing Wonderwall

Liam discovered this didn't solely occur at parties he was at, but rather, that at nearly every party where an acoustic guitar is present, at some point during the evening, Wonderwall will be used as a tool to fuck up a perfectly good evening by some drunken bumbling idiot who thinks they're going to impress a girl who's clearly not showing any sign's shes into him.

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