Stowe, VT —

When Albert Durham first opened a bakery with his wife in the quaint town of Stowe, Vermont forty years ago, he never dreamed it would be such a success. “We have a steady clientele, love what we do, and our every morning is filled with the aroma of buttery cinnamon buns. What more could you ask for?”

“I can think of something,” chimed in his wife Harriet. “About three years ago I get up at the usual 4:30 a.m. to get the croissants going for the breakfast crowd, and there’s this young 55-year-old hussy already in the kitchen with her new-fangled pastry recipes, sexy apron and, oh yeah, that’s right, I find out she’s been hooking up with Albert.”

The “hussy,” Montpelier native Laura Michaels, has been a fixture in the bakery ever since. “Hey, nothing imparts better flavor to baked goods than a little fire in the kitchen, you know what I’m sayin’?” she says. “The three of us make a good team. Sure, Harriet gives me the stink-eye when I suddenly grab Albert’s buns, or flash him my cupcakes, right when a customer walks in. But there’s no denying, the sex show has doubled our business.”

Harriet almost decided to jump ship last week when she walked in and found Albert licking frosting off of Laura’s stomach. “But then I finally realized, two can play at this game. Wait’ll everyone finds out what I have in store for that 25-year-old hottie who delivers our sacks of flour. I’m gonna do a major number on his bread stick.”

By Holly Love

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