Sugar City, ID —

After playing bass in his band Devil’s Pie for over two sexless years, Ray Rodriguez was ready for a change. “The dry spells with the ladies were getting to me. Nobody gives a shit about the bass player, and I’m a decent bassist. Our guitarist, Brad, is borderline incompetent, but there he is – show after show – getting women’s numbers and plowing them like some sort of music god. I usually get stuck with the ugly ones… IF I’m lucky.” Ray continues, “So, I started playing the vibraslap and hoo boy, let me tell you, I’m pretty much literally drowning in pussy.”

The ‘vibraslap extraordinaire’ adds, “Now I’m ramming vag on the daily. I’m not coming to them, they’re coming to me, on me, all around me. The moment I hit my vibraslap, the vibrations this thing sends off permeate these women’s panties, and they’re instantly moist. In fact, most of the ladies are telling me they now wear panties at our shows so they don’t slip on the hardwood floor. It’s amazing what this instrument can do! The vibraslap speaks directly to these women’s G-spots.”

“This is just the beginning of my night. I got this cougar waiting for me in the dressing room: 47-year-old, 5-times-divorced Irene Phillips. I had to tell her this was a quickie, because there’s a line of poontang out the door with my dick’s name all over it.  All begging for me to give them the ‘ol vibraslap to their holes.” “Once they saw how my palm could precisely smack that ball in a fast, rhythmic motion, all the women in the room – mostly middle-aged, white, and desperate for attention – orgasmed at the thought of what I could do to their clits. It’s a big part of the reason anyone gets into the vibraslap. One lady didn’t even want me to fuck her. She just begged to sit on my vibraslap as I banged the shit out of it.”

“I’m getting laid so much, I feel like my dick might fall off if I don’t take a break. I’m going to switch back to the bass for a few nights just so my cock and I can get some rest.”

By Catricia and Andrew Froese

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