Stillwater, OK —

A local restaurant was given a one-star review on Yelp by “John S.” after the restaurant happened to be closed when he arrived. John S. unfortunately missed the large sign on the entrance door indicating the establishment’s hours. He also tragically missed seeing the restaurant’s website and Google search details, both which accurately display the hours of operation. Despite all of this information being accessible to anyone with Internet access, John S., who has zero Yelp friends and eight other one-star reviews, posted a scathing critique to spread the word that the restaurant “DONT GIV A SHIT ABOUUT CUSTOMERS.” He continued on about the “EXTREMELY RUDE” worker who informed him that the restaurant was closed for the night. Mr. S., who had arrived a full twenty minutes after closing time, included in his review the injustice of seeing people still sitting at tables inside. “NEVER EATING HEAR AGAINN,” he concluded, though he has never once even been inside the restaurant.

By Zach Englund