The public outcry has perhaps been the most unifying time in all of American history. Almost everyone of all ages, genders, races, and political affiliations have come together to send a message: "If you fuck with Keanu, you fuck with all of us."
"It simply will not have had the traditional Anderson character development,” said critic Will H. Held, who claims he will not have had the chance to actually see the movie – even by a year from now. “But by then I will have been proven right.”
"The guy keeps rhythmically grazing his fingertips over me for hours. He tells his wife he’s ‘reading a book on his Kindle app’. Like I can’t see what’s on me? That’s porn, buddy.”
Citizens Bank Park
“Do I really need more mouths to regurgitate partly digested food into? No,” said the sparrow. “But would I like me some non-reproductive feathered tail? Sure.”
Does it even matter?
“I’m sure she was in there at 3 AM, when I came by to feed her her usual breakfast of bull feces slathered with self-righteousness,” said Mark Kelleher, one of the crew tasked with tending to Sanders.
“Speaking of tools, do you own a tool set at all?” Sam’s dad inquired. “You probably should have one in case of emergencies. Wait. Would you even know how to use a tool? Do you have any interest in learning about tools? If you were a boy you probably would.”
"Whatever happened to common decency and the sanctity of chemical reactions? The other atoms don't even see it as an atom, just an electron to be used!"