"I'm not sure why Baltimore rats are getting all the attention. I'd put any old New York City rat up against a top-of-the-line Baltimore rat, and I'd know that my guy would win in the first round," De Blasio bragged to the audience. "Any time - day or night you can go out and find … Continue reading De Blasio Boasts That NYC Is Also A Rat And Rodent Infested Mess
"Don't get me wrong. I like my co-workers. They pet me, and sometimes they give me decent food off their plates. The little ones, particularly, are cute. But I could be so much more than this. I could be ruling a pack, hunting and providing, admired by my comrades, feared by my foes, and lusted after by attractive females. I could be the biggest badass in the animal kingdom."
Marianne Williamson knows that the key to changing the world is to harness the force of pure love. "We're all just going to love each other. I don't understand why you all can't get that through your thick skulls," Williamson told reporters. "Other candidates may promise you debt-relief, or help with medical insurance. I'm promising … Continue reading Democratic Candidate Wants You To Join Her Multi-Level Marketing Essential Oils Sales Team
"I don't know how someone can be so nonchalant about thievery," Officer Landon told reporters.
“As you can see, Mr. Epstein’s little run-in with the law is just like yours, except the words are in a different order. He’s hardly any different from you upstanding folks.”
If you are reading this and are homeless, please reconsider your lifestyle and buy my property in Baltimore. I've asked you every which way I can think of. We've made it illegal to feed you, we've fought against shelters and taxes that help you, we've put those bumpy things on benches so you can't sleep on them, but somehow, the housing crisis remains unsolved. I've offered help—countless times—in the form of affordable budgetary and financing advice, and you just act like it's not enough.
"The first few times it happened, it was by total accident...Pretty soon I found myself overwhelmed by the thought of the euphoric feeling I got from thrashing around, struggling for oxygen. I'd be looking for dinner, but all the while just longing for that rush, you know?"
It could be that my clothes were culturally appropriated by the arrogant elite of a fashion industry who frequently seek to profit from the wholesale thievery of sartorial milieus organically created by oppressed communities. But probably not — I’m pretty sure my underwear and stuff was snatched out of my gym locker by this douchey kid named Eric.
Researchers described the level of weirdness as "pretty weird, I guess. I mean, not really, but if you look at it for long enough or say it over and over, then a little bit."
Are you freaking kidding me?! I can't take this anymore. WHAT IS TAKING SO LONG? Hurry up! Fuck. OM friggin G. What in the LITERAL hell is even happening right now? Sweet LORD. I don't have all gotdamn day. fuck. Fuck. Fuckity. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.