Disney has walked back its decision to cast a black woman as The Little Mermaid, following an eruption of controversy on social media. Dana Lewis, a spokesman for Walt Disney Studios, said in a press conference, “We had good intentions casting a beautiful young black woman, but after the public’s response, we realized that socially-awkward white boys were in a much more dire situation. That’s why we’re doing a full 180 and bringing out the big guns: Michael Cera. If white people aren’t happy with the new casting, they’re never going to be happy.”

The move has been met with widespread approval. Many of Disney’s biggest fans expressed gratitude on social media. One comment read, “THANK YOU for finally representing the people and bringing someone relatable and realistic to this fictional hybrid animal.”

Patricia Rogers, 55-year-old native of Charlotte, NC and “white person enthusiast,” said that she’s the happiest she’s been in years since the news of Cera’s casting. “This is the Ariel we need. There is no whiter person on this earth than Michael Cera. He looks like a man who is allergic to food seasoning. He probably turns the bass in his sound system all the way down. After years of hardship, our people are finally being represented.”

By William Boffa, Image by Paul Klingle

15 thoughts on “Facing Backlash, Disney Recasts Ariel To Whitest Actor In World, Michael Cera

  1. Haha, I’m probably more pale then he is xD But either way, this is funny!

  2. Excellent choice, as well as Danny DeVito as the father…

  3. Ariel is a female you cant have a male play a female part it is stupid you should of just kept the young black woman and who cares what the world thinks your making the movie not them

    1. This is a joke article. They didn’t actually cast Michael Cera. We still have a black Ariel 🙂

    2. You’re a special kind of stupid, huh? It’s clearly a fake article ment for comedy…stop believing everything you read on facebook 🤦‍♂️

    3. Thor has always been a Male. But apparently, the producers bowed to some small faction & cast a woman to play the “son of Odin”, for the next movie.

  4. Seriously Disney. Stand your ground and go with your 1st choice. Im a huge fan and see nothing wrong. Screw all those close minded people who didnt approve. THEY WILL STILL WATCH IT AND PAY TO WATCH IT. HUGE DISNEY FAN

    1. I will never, ever, watch this movie, regardless of what Disney does with the casting. It’s just so shameful, the way they’re taking these classic animated films and *changing* them like this, making them into live action movies in a transparent cash grab. Next thing you know, they’ll be remaking live action films as animated ones, and the white actor’s? They’ll be *even whiter* because that’s how Disney draws things. Then they’ll start making CGI movies as live-action/animation films, a la Mary Poppins, and Lightning McQueen will be played by a blue Volkswagen Jetta that identifies as a green Toyota Camry, and the world will defend into chaos because Robert Iger will have all of the money!

    1. No no no a white girl with red hair not white boy or black girl if they don’t stick to like the original there will be more backlash get it right

      1. A. This isn’t a real article. Halle Bailey is still playing Ariel, too fucking bad.

        B. In the actual original story, by Hans Christian Andersen her skin is green, her feet bleed the entire time she’s on land, and she dies; piss off you racist fucknut.