Dogs may be collectively known as man’s best friend, but not all breeds are equally friendly. Here are a few guidelines for choosing the right dog for your family.
BAD DOG
Don’t let this dog fool you. That smile looks adorable at first glance, but it’s actually the malevolent grin of an evil predator. Make no mistake, this dog will rip your face off and fashion it into a mask. Posing as you, he will then drive to your job and tell your boss to go fuck himself, getting you fired.
GOOD DOG
Awwww, look at this sweet guy! Now that’s the warm smile of the loyal furry friend who will bring your family years of joy.
BAD DOG
If you care about your family, you will stay far away from dogs like this. The smug look on this savage’s face screams “I will use my superior sense of style to steal your wife. Your kids call me daddy now.” After usurping your position as man of the house, he will rip your face off and use it as bait when he goes fishing on the boat he buys with your child support payments.
GOOD DOG
This friendly fella is an excellent choice for a family pet. You can tell by looking at him all he wants to do is give slobbery kisses and snuggle!
BAD DOG
Conservationists may have you believe climate change is driving the endangered status of emperor penguins, but it is actually this evil killer right here. In fact, he is solely responsible for the demise of every extinct species across history. Next on his list are the faces of you and everyone you have ever loved.
GOOD DOG
This is the type of dog that would make a perfect addition to a home with other animals. Silly pup can’t wait to play with his new friends!
Choosing the right dog for your family is a daunting task. Minding the above tips will save your family the heartache of saying goodbye to a beloved parent, sibling, or face.
