Marianne Williamson knows that the key to changing the world is to harness the force of pure love. “We’re all just going to love each other. I don’t understand why you all can’t get that through your thick skulls,” Williamson told reporters. “Other candidates may promise you debt-relief, or help with medical insurance. I’m promising a true way to change your life: a way that will leave you in charge of your destiny. I’m inviting you to join my essential oils multi-level marketing team. We are a fun group who believes that the earth has already given us the ability to heal ourselves. We also know that the best way to make true, lasting friendships is to join our life energies to sell these life-changing products to everyone you know. We won’t even need health insurance when we harness lavender, sage, and rosemary oils. Oh, and CRYSTALS! Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we will miss our sales goals because we are having too much fun. I’m Marianne Williamson. Let me empower you, just like I have empowered Oprah.”