Redmond, WA —

In 1989, a game called Minesweeper was released for nearly every computing platform available. Supposedly rooted in logic and calculative decisions, Minesweeper insidiously caused thousands of kids to grow up to be the radical, divisive pieces of shit that gun people down in mass shootings. While this “game” may look innocuous with its simple point-and-click grid, its sick and twisted undertones infest the mind, quietly depriving the conscious of all morals and Godliness and transforming it into a ransacked, putrid realm of bastardized ideology. Under the guise of entertainment, Minesweeper taught an entire generation growing up in the late 80s and early 90s that violence against our fellow beings is not only okay, but exciting and worthwhile. It desensitized the players through every click of the mouse and through every reveal of a number. Every “accidental” detonation of the hidden mines resulting in the game being over slowly pushed these fragile minds over the edge, building their aggression and turning them into brutal, Godforsaken atheists.

Today we are seeing the consequences of letting our children play this dangerous game. The Dayton and El Paso shootings are only the most recent demonstrations among many of the lasting damages “Minesweeper” has wreaked.

It is imperative now that all Americans work to restrict the availability of this Hellish Nightmare Spawn of a game. Proper background tests that evaluate potential players to the highest level of scrutiny are needed to determine if they should be allowed to play it. And only after a prescribed waiting period should they be given access to it. Only then will we put this mass shooting madness to rest.

By Zach Englund, Headline By Paul Klingle