Brockport, NY —

Everyone loves a cashier who is warm, friendly, and brightens your day. Well, I’m here to tell you that it’s all bullshit. Smoke and mirrors, man. And if you don’t believe me, here’s a little experiment: Try saying hi to your cashier three places early in the line. Suddenly, the facade drops. Instead of smiling and asking about your day, your act of friendliness is met with a confused glare. But that’s not all. Try doing what I did: Wait for her to finish her shift, stay 50-100 feet away from her at all times, follow her to her car, and then try saying hi. Suddenly, Ms. “Did You Find Everything Okay?” is gone, revealing the neurotic, indignant hag she really is. Any illusions that she really cared about your shopping experience have withered away. And it’s not just the way they reveal their cold, hollow souls to you; what really stings is the way they have the government force you to stay 500 feet from them at all times. Is that what you call customer service? It’s for that reason I’m leaving this Wegmans one star.

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