Appleton, WI —
When parents refuse to accept the fact that their teenagers are going to have sex, teens are forced to live out their relationships, one-night stands, and random truck stop bathroom hookups in secret. This is why Cassandra Dorfman, 48, insists that her teenagers have sex, both oral and intercourse, in the back seat where she knows they are safe.
“When my son first got a girlfriend, I thought ‘uh-oh, here it starts,'” Dorfman explained. “He and that little thing were only 13, but I could just tell that they were going to go off to some basement drug and orgy party and do it there while the kid’s parents were out of town, so I insisted their first time be in the back seat of my BMW while I was driving. This way, I could check that no funny business was happening, and that she’d be home at a reasonable hour. I am not ready to be a grandma.”
“Then, when my daughter turned 14, it’s like she developed overnight. She brought this boy over to meet us, and he asked her father if he could take her to the Homecoming dance. Well I knew what that was code for, so I offered to drive. My baby girl isn’t going to be giving you a lap dance behind some Walmart automotive department,” the mother of 3 continued. “Some parents act like it’s not happening. Like their kids aren’t all out just doing it all over God knows where with only God knows who. Not my babies. They’re going to do it in the back seat where I can watch to make sure that everyone is safe, and everyone is having fun. Even if it kills me,” she concluded, adjusting the rear view mirror to get a better shot for her now 15-year-old daughter’s date night.
By Emily Sanchez