Florida —
“Have you seen the size of this thing?!” local wild-eyed meteorologist Drew Storm shouted to the camera. “It’s really big, and it’s going to pack a powerful punch. Get ready, everyone. It’s going to be really wet. The barometric pressure is off the charts, and this hurricane has intense stamina. It’s going slow at first, but it’ll speed up soon, and we will all feel the force of its thrust. Do you have water yet? Well, if not, you’d better start filling up your empty beer cans with some. There’s none on the shelves, gas stations are reporting shortages, and people with diabetes are worried about losing their insulin supply due to power outages. We’re still days away, but I can tell you right now — that this is the storm of the century. It’s shifting further east, but it may very well turn right around and smack us right in the face.”