Washington D.C. —

Days after the first crime in space was committed on the International Space Station— when decorated NASA astronaut, Anne McClain, reportedly accessed the bank account of her spouse, Summer Wordon—the Space Force has been deployed on its first mission. Ms. McClain contends that she was merely checking on the couple’s still-intertwined finances, while the latter has gone to file a complaint to the Federal Trades Commission in response. Upon hearing this news, President Trump has ordered in the Space Force for further investigation. “It’s the first incident of its kind.” The president spoke to reporters, “It’s critical we figure out how to prevent crimes from spreading out of the atmosphere. The first Space Crime requires the first Space Force.” While opponents feel this is an overreaction, being that the crime in question is being taken care of in federal courts, Trump was committed to his decision. “We cannot allow ourselves to become victims of space thugs,” said the President. “It is absolutely necessary for us to use the Space Force to ensure this will not happen again. I firmly believe in this decision.” The Space Force will start their investigation as soon as the Space Force is created and is up and running, at which point Anne McClain is expected to be back on Earth anyway.

By Zach Englund