Vice President Pence reported Friday that thoroughbred racehorse American Pharoah “bit him on his arm so hard he nearly collapsed.” When questioned about the incident, the Triple Crown winner responded, “I’ve won so many races in my lifetime and was ready for a new adventure, so I threw my hooves into gay conversion therapy. Pence’s visit was perfect timing to try my new biting conversion therapy. I mean, I know I’m just a horse, but even I can tell that dude is gay, so I thought ‘what the hell’ and I bit him. I don’t think it worked though. I mean, just look at him, the dude is obviously still gay.“

By Catricia