“That's twelve distinct photos of his smug toddler smirk on that beady-eyed, punchable face that only a mother could love. Now compare that to me, the world's sexiest leader, with my chiseled, Ken doll face. Which Canada will you invest in?”
The SJWs really took things too far once they formed networks around the world and made death threats to Adolf. Some even got out of their mom’s basements and started manning tanks and submarines. You never see Antifa doing this to leftist leaders like Obama, because they're hypocrites.
Leto made news during the filming of the project after your dad said it was chilly outside, causing Leto to run outdoors with a spoon. The extra weight he was sporting caused the actor to lose his balance, inadvertently stepping on a crack and breaking his own back. We at Unsubscribed wish him a full recovery.
"After a controversial report out of Northeastern University’s Department of Bipedal Vertical Locomotion concluded that “large landings may be excluded from an enumeration of treads and risers,” a firestorm of dispute has engulfed the stair-counting academy."
"Congress has been very mean to me. The Press hates me. Nobody seems to care. I think I'll move to Australia."
I wish more people were like me: race-blind, color-blind, and their-own-dick-blind. If everyone were like that, and if certain people whose race and color I am unable to see would stay the hell out of nice neighborhoods like mine, I assure you our whole society would be a lot better off.
"A little to the left. Bit further...bit further...yes! That's perfect. Now smile!"
“I was wrapping up the manuscript when I realized I left out how humans calculate airfares. I plugged literally trillions of itineraries into travel sites looking for a pattern and I still can’t figure it out!”
This explains why thoughts and prayers aren't being answered after every school shooting, pandemic, or when a professional team loses a big game.
"I felt some seismic energy, and ran to the mirror—where low and behold, I could just make out the slightest curvature of a testis, I think it's the left one."