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Month: October 2019

October 30, 2019October 30, 2019 hollylovenews Uncategorized

Washington D.C. Trick-Or-Treaters Run Screaming From Way-Too-Real House Of Horrors

Hundreds of children were traumatized.

October 30, 2019October 30, 2019 Emily Sanchez Uncategorized

Hallmark Channel Forced To Face Swap Lori Loughlin And Jeff Goldblum In Holiday Lineup

Not wanting to drop fan-favorites like 'When Calls the Heart: The Greatest Christmas Blessing,' creators turned to Bill Murray and Jeff Goldblum to ask them to lend their faces — but just their faces — to these classics.

October 30, 2019October 30, 2019 Joe Lichtblau Politics

Halloween Trends: Bug-Eyed, Drooling Rudy Giuliani Will Be Big This Year

“In addition to resembling a crazed dingo, you’ll need to sound thoroughly inane. Try memorizing a list of completely disconnected words — ferret, linguine, Ukraine, prostate, criminal, schadenfreude, Yonkers, ungulate — then spit them out all night in random order.”

October 28, 2019October 28, 2019 Kendra Coleman Uncategorized

Panhandling White Woman Just Going To Blow It All On Pumpkin Spice Lattes

"I've been trying to beat this for years, but as soon as the leaves turn the slightest shade of orange, it awakens a demon inside me I don't have the strength to fight," she sighs.

October 28, 2019October 28, 2019 Zach Englund Uncategorized

Californians Regret Not Taking Trump’s Advice To Rake Forest

Given that California residents didn't follow the President's simple advice to rake the forests to help prevent fires, it's possible he may refuse to provide them with any help.

October 27, 2019October 27, 2019 William Boffa Uncategorized, Politics

Breaking: Founder Of ISIS Killed

He had spent his youth in the military, where he was trained in piloting combat airplanes and dodging shoes.

October 27, 2019October 27, 2019 Emily Sanchez Uncategorized

Paul Rudd Dressed Up As Paul Rudd For Halloween Party And It Was Completely Adorable

"I love everyone's costumes. You guys are all great. I just figured I'd be myself tonight, and I hope that's cool with everybody."

October 27, 2019October 27, 2019 Joe Lichtblau Uncategorized

Wild Fire Really Getting Into Free-Roaming, Outdoorsy California Lifestyle

“Even if you roll into town unexpected at, like, 3 AM, they’re like, 'Hey, mi casa es su casa.' It sure is!”

October 27, 2019October 27, 2019 hollylovenews Uncategorized

Abused Teen Pumpkin Starts Self-Carving

"I can't stop," said the pumpkin. "I started doing a face, then it was a witch on a broom, then like this really detailed diorama of the Game of Thrones sets. Sometimes I think about just gutting myself straight into a pumpkin pie baking pan and getting it over with."

October 24, 2019October 24, 2019 Emily Sanchez Uncategorized

T-Pain Cancels Tour Citing That Ticket Sales Were Low Low Low Low Low Low Low Low

After canceling his 1UP DLC Tour, and taking ownership of his low ticket sales, rapper T-Pain had this to say. "I thank you for your support, and I'm looking forward to making my next tour the best one ever. Everyone's invited backstage. Let me buy u a drank."

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