A data analysis of Facebook’s 1 billion users found that out of all the “Wow” reactions made over the last five years, 86% of them were made solely by popular actor Owen Wilson.

When approached for comment, Wilson was reportedly too flabbergasted by the statistic to respond. Sources report him later explaining, “I can’t help it, man. Whether it’s a meme, political post, or just a photo of my friend’s kids, everything I see on my feed just blows my mind.”

Wilson’s friends and family told reporters that watching him browse the internet is always a fun time. “He’s just really easily impressed,” said his brother Luke. “He loves Facebook, and when he’s not wowing onto his bassoon, or wowing smoke rings, or playing World of Warcraft, he’s scrolling on his phone in a state of constant astonishment.”

“I don’t even know why I keep him as a friend, honestly,” said Wilson’s girlfriend. “I never get any engagement from him on my posts. All I ever get is that same dumb reaction face every time. Jesus man, learn some other lines. Sometimes I think he only acts constantly stupefied as a defense mechanism, as if he’s trying to wow away his real problems.”

By William Boffa