Rest assured that The Rise of Skywalker is now the worst reviewed movie in human history. Stay tuned, after I see it a few dozen times, for me to explain why.
"It's actually not funny," said AMA spokesman Clint Matthews. "Millions of men suffer from small dick syndrome. He is the guy who never leaves the gym. The man with the big truck and deafening muffler. The suit-clad man berating the waitress because he ordered double bacon and this turkey club clearly has the normal amount of bacon. The gun-nut."
Sure, it’s packed with lots of protein, but it’s also packed with a love for butt stuff. Some people love Greek yogurt and some despise it. These naysayers are not your people. They clearly do not engage in any butt play, whatsoever.
"What about that nice girl from high school — the one you did that science fair project with when you were a sophomore? She's probably home now too. She was so nice. I bet she'd come over for dessert if you gave her a call."
"I'm grateful 364 days, then, there will be this one white lady and her blueberry home-brewing boyfriend who will becry the genocide in some sort of satirical crap news article, all the while looking up recipes on how to get those sprouts perfectly caramelized. So, yeah, this one day I'm not having it."
"I can't be the star all the time. Tim's family is gonna have to make their own fun this year. I'm going to Dylan's house. He just got a new pool table. Should be gang-gang."
Said the annoyed bear, "What if we got married and had cubs? When we kill people to feed them is he gonna just eat everything and let them starve?” The boyfriend was unable to comment as his mouth was already busy going down on his next girlfriend.
You would think that this article would start and end at sweet potatoes, but you would be mistaken. There are far more bullshit Thanksgiving dishes besides sweet potatoes that mini marshmallows just cannot salvage. With that said, let's get to the first bullshit dish. Sweet Potatoes: They're a vegetable. They taste like a vegetable. Why on … Continue reading Bullshit Thanksgiving Dishes That Even Mini Marshmallows Can’t Save
You don't have to do this to yourself anymore. You don't have to eat vegetables for dessert and act like they are even close to being in the same genre as cookie dough ice cream or Funfetti cake. It's cool now. We will get through the winter just fine without pumpkins.