Vatican City –

Eager to stay abreast with social media, and with millennials in particular, Pope Francis has made a new MySpace page for the Catholic church. 

“I chose the username of ‘DownWithGod,’” said His Holiness in our exclusive interview. “I’ve been staying up all night loading the page with content, and can’t wait to see how many followers we get. When do they start showing up? It’s been a few weeks and Bishop Moynihan is still the only guy on there so far.” 

The page has some very high-resolution photos of communion wafers, some music you can pray to, and videos of people filing in for mass. “Very exciting,” continued the Pope. “I never thought I’d be able to figure out this new-fangled digital stuff, but the Lord provided a way. He showed me how to just go for it with the most popular site out there. It could load a little faster though. Tomorrow I’m going shopping for a brand new dial-up modem.” 

By Holly Love

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