Gardena, CA —

Neville Clifton has never been one to heavily engage in politics. With his sizable inheritance, 46 Facebook followers, and steady supply of alcohol, he never understood why people always felt the need to get political. But lately, his followers have been observing a change in Neville. He’s becoming more learned about global affairs. He’s no longer able to stay silent in the face of injustice. He’s even begun making his own unique observations about the world; specifically, that the President is not very good.

“I don’t know if anyone’s noticed this before, but his last name is actually derived from Drumpf. Drumpf!” posts Neville, plunging the depths of human discourse. “And one time, he pronounced ‘United States’ as ‘United Shaysh.’ What a buffoon!”

Neville has yet to comment on the President’s emboldening of fascists, his administration’s effect on the environment, or the USA’s relatively low standard of living. On the other hand, he claims to have “broken the internet” with his recent 2,500-word dissertation about that time the President accidentally looked at a solar eclipse.

However, his recent branching out into politics hasn’t won everyone over. “Neville’s new Trump kick is exhausting, honestly,” said Janice Jenkins, one of his Facebook friends. “It’s like he got a few laugh-reacts the first time, so now he’s going to flog this dead horse for as long as he can. None of his friends like Trump anyway, so I don’t know what he’s going for. I never thought America’s descent into authoritarianism would be so boring.”