We are all familiar with the large, orange gourd known as the pumpkin. This time of year, the pumpkin reigns supreme. It’s in your coffee, it’s in your cake, it’s in your pie. What I’m here to tell you is, it doesn’t have to be this way. Our ancestors harvested pumpkins in the late fall and stored them in a cool cellar, where they would keep all winter long. Back in those days, they couldn’t just hop on over to the local grocery store and pick up a dozen freshly-made doughnuts. But we can now. In fact, you can Postmate that shit right this second and some dude in a ’97 Ford Taurus will bring it to your door. Our ancestors put pumpkin in everything because they had to in order to ward off scurvy and survive the long winters. We have Costco cheesecakes now. You don’t have to do this to yourself anymore. You don’t have to eat vegetables for dessert and act like they are even close to being in the same genre as cookie dough ice cream or Funfetti cake. It’s cool now. We will get through the winter just fine without pumpkins. 

By CarolAnn Liebelt