Bethlehem, Israel –

In a recent press conference, Jesus Christ vehemently asserted that being born on Christmas Day totally blows.

“People are like, ‘Here’s your combination Christmas/birthday present’,” he told reporters. “And that’s just the people who, among all the seasonal bustle, even remember it’s my birthday in the first place. You’d think with me being the Lord and Savior and all, and my last name being right there in the holiday’s name, they wouldn’t forget. But I have to remind my friends and family every year, by threatening not to forgive their sins if they don’t pony up two separate gifts.”

Mentioning that he finally wised up and put his birthday on his Facebook profile, he added, “That should help. One request though. Please don’t send me any more gifts of gold cross pendants. Have plenty.”