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Month: January 2020

January 31, 2020 Emily Sanchez Uncategorized, Politics

Gospel Choir Still Pushing To Get A Witness To Testify At Impeachment Hearing

After the GOP blocked witness testimony during the impeachment hearings for President Trump, a Gospel Choir from D.C. offered lawmakers their own testimony. Shouts of, "Can I get an Amen!" could be heard echoing through the Senate chamber as Mitch McConnell hurried by to put in his order at Hooters.

January 31, 2020January 31, 2020 Joe Lichtblau Uncategorized, Politics

United Kingdom Exits Reality

“It’s all fuzzy, with hard and soft borders, and now it looks like it’s breaking into pieces.”

January 31, 2020 Joe Lichtblau Uncategorized

Elephant In Room Perfectly Happy With Nobody Discussing Anything

“They say an elephant never forgets,” said the resolute pachyderm. “But you just watch how quickly I forget all the evidence I heard at this impeachment trial.”

January 29, 2020 Joe Lichtblau Uncategorized

CDC Warns: Coronavirus Now Spreading By Sharing Facebook Posts Like This One

"Anyone who clicks open a post in which ‘coronavirus’ is used repeatedly will probably be infected with coronavirus. Even being tagged in the comments of a coronavirus post can transmit deadly coronavirus."

January 28, 2020January 28, 2020 Emily Sanchez Uncategorized

Billie Eilish Releases New Single ‘GET OVER HERE’

From her upcoming album 'I Just Wanna Be Your Scorpion'

January 27, 2020March 30, 2020 Emily Sanchez Uncategorized

Bernie Showing Signs Of Fatigue From Always Having To Be On Top

"They say this looks tiring, but honestly there's no other position I'd rather be in right now. Some might say that I appear to be doing all the heavy work of taking on this current President, but I know we are a team. So, I've had my orange juice now, and am all set. We … Continue reading Bernie Showing Signs Of Fatigue From Always Having To Be On Top

January 27, 2020March 22, 2020 Catricia Uncategorized

My Dick Hangs To The Left But I Assure You I Vote Republican

I may be liberal with my cock, but my cock isn't liberal, you hear? And if it was, I'd beat it until it can't take anymore.

January 27, 2020January 29, 2020 William Boffa Uncategorized

I Used To Like Bernie, But His Supporters Were Rude To Me, So I’ve Decided To Let People Continue Dying Of Preventable Illnesses

I just refuse to be associated with such asshole supporters! It's for that reason I've decided to support a different candidate and abandon all my previous opinions about keeping poor people alive.

January 26, 2020January 27, 2020 Joe Lichtblau Uncategorized

Ghost Going Through Post-Life Crisis

“I just have a feeling there’s more to the wraith realm than all these fancy trappings,” says Daniel, as he fidgets with his newest, trendy toy, a high-tech chain that can be rattled at forty different frequencies.

January 24, 2020January 24, 2020 Emily Sanchez Uncategorized

Tom Brady’s Daddy Promises Him He’s Just Running Out To Get Milk

Eli Manning returned briefly, but only to grab his rings. "Can't forget these. They, uh, require them at the milk store," he assured his little guy.

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