After the GOP blocked witness testimony during the impeachment hearings for President Trump, a Gospel Choir from D.C. offered lawmakers their own testimony. Shouts of, "Can I get an Amen!" could be heard echoing through the Senate chamber as Mitch McConnell hurried by to put in his order at Hooters.
United Kingdom Exits Reality
“It’s all fuzzy, with hard and soft borders, and now it looks like it’s breaking into pieces.”
Elephant In Room Perfectly Happy With Nobody Discussing Anything
“They say an elephant never forgets,” said the resolute pachyderm. “But you just watch how quickly I forget all the evidence I heard at this impeachment trial.”
CDC Warns: Coronavirus Now Spreading By Sharing Facebook Posts Like This One
"Anyone who clicks open a post in which ‘coronavirus’ is used repeatedly will probably be infected with coronavirus. Even being tagged in the comments of a coronavirus post can transmit deadly coronavirus."
Billie Eilish Releases New Single ‘GET OVER HERE’
From her upcoming album 'I Just Wanna Be Your Scorpion'
Bernie Showing Signs Of Fatigue From Always Having To Be On Top
"They say this looks tiring, but honestly there's no other position I'd rather be in right now. Some might say that I appear to be doing all the heavy work of taking on this current President, but I know we are a team. So, I've had my orange juice now, and am all set. We … Continue reading Bernie Showing Signs Of Fatigue From Always Having To Be On Top
My Dick Hangs To The Left But I Assure You I Vote Republican
I may be liberal with my cock, but my cock isn't liberal, you hear? And if it was, I'd beat it until it can't take anymore.
I Used To Like Bernie, But His Supporters Were Rude To Me, So I’ve Decided To Let People Continue Dying Of Preventable Illnesses
I just refuse to be associated with such asshole supporters! It's for that reason I've decided to support a different candidate and abandon all my previous opinions about keeping poor people alive.
Ghost Going Through Post-Life Crisis
“I just have a feeling there’s more to the wraith realm than all these fancy trappings,” says Daniel, as he fidgets with his newest, trendy toy, a high-tech chain that can be rattled at forty different frequencies.
Tom Brady’s Daddy Promises Him He’s Just Running Out To Get Milk
Eli Manning returned briefly, but only to grab his rings. "Can't forget these. They, uh, require them at the milk store," he assured his little guy.