Loving father and committed, heterosexual husband Shawn Wilcox is currently sitting in his home office, browsing through pages of gay porn to see what all the fuss is about. “I just found out the other month about this gay porn thing, and then I discovered after a few hundred clicks that this stuff is all over the internet! It’s just so fascinating: two men wanting to have sex with each other. It’s so strange. I mean, look at what they’re doing,” Wilcox exclaims, waving his hand at the monitor, which is displaying a full-screen video of a bear getting his nipples sucked. “I’m old enough to be that twink’s father. Fuck me!”
“Not that I’m even doing this often, but two, maybe three, times a week, I check out men ramming each other, trying to understand what the big deal is,” Wilcox explains. “It’s mostly happenstance, too, like the other day when my car broke down. I was heading to work, and this guy pulls up behind me, grabs out his jumper cables, and juices up my battery. I think his name was Steve? I can’t remember. I know his jeans had horseshoe stitching on the back pockets. Anyway, the jumper cables reminded of this video I randomly heard about where this guy’s nuts are getting shocked while his cock gets deep-throated by this otter. Don’t ask me how I know that term. I had to watch the video, because I was very curious as a man who is ultimately satisfied by his wife.”
“Or when I heard the news that the Pope was going on tour,” Wilcox continues as he wipes down the office chair, “which reminded me of this roleplay video that apparently has a priest getting multiple cumshots from ‘altar boys.’ After finishing the 26-minute video, I had to ask myself, ‘Who watches this kind of stuff??’”
“I’m a normal man. I like the same things all fathers and husbands like: barbecuing, mowing the lawn, and using my power tools,” Wilcox clarifies as he clears out his browser history. “Speaking of power tools, there’s this video of some straight guy’s hole getting destroyed by some automatic dildo machine while he’s rimming some ripped latino’s ass. So maybe there are straight guys who are also into this stuff? Who knows?”
Headline By Rachael Letourneau, Article By Andrew Froese
Hilari-ass!!!