Washington, D.C. —

The elephant in a certain room is absolutely delighted by the thought of not being discussed — indeed, it advocates for shutting down all conversation and carrying on as if nothing happened.

“They say an elephant never forgets,” said the resolute pachyderm. “But you just watch how quickly I forget all the evidence I heard at this impeachment trial.”

“And speaking of watching stuff, you ever watch one of those videos where a crazed elephant goes on a rampage and starts crushing people, flipping over cars, and generally wreaking havoc and destruction? God I love those videos!”

By Joe Lichtblau