Weston, Connecticut —

After doing some reading and consulting his doctor, Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards has decided to give up his cigarette smoking habit. Richards told friends that he recently found out that smoking has some negative side effects. “Sure, I knew it could cause lung cancer. I’m not worried about that. If all the drugs didn’t kill me I doubt cancer would. But I didn’t know that smoking cigarettes could make you age faster.” The 76 year old cowriter of many hit songs, including “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction,” went on to say, “I need to think about things like this. I doubt my fans want to see my skin get wrinkly. I’m a famous rock star, I can’t look like an old man.”

By Ethan Moore, Photo by Emily Sanchez

9 thoughts on “Keith Richards Quits Smoking After Learning It Causes Premature Aging

  1. I tried WRINKLE CREAMS to hide signs of aging. Didn’t work…my balls still look like prunes!

  2. ” I Can’t Get No (Metamucil) “. Good ole Kieth will be dancing on all our graves……….