Aklavik, NT –

To accommodate his family of eight, Northwest Territories native Dan Johnston recently bought a second refrigerator to help store more food. He put the new fridge, a Mr. Ken More, in their garage. Last week Unsubscribed traveled all the way to actual Canada to interview Mr. More.

“I was born on the best of assembly lines and constructed of the best materials,” explained the beleaguered appliance. “But I feel my purpose has been bastardized. You should see the haughty remarks I get at the on-line meetings. They’re filled with privileged fridges in the Caribbean and other warm locations where being a refrigerator actually means something.”

Ken More emotionally paused to wipe some condensation streaming down from his coils. “I wish my owner would just drive me south and give me to someone in Mexico. I deserve to be a hero.” During our interview Johnston popped into the garage, opened the refrigerator to grab a beer, and commented how great it was to “have a place to keep the brewskis from freezing.”

Unsubscribed has alerted mental health professionals in the area, as it appears that the refrigerator is considering pulling its own plug.

by Holly Love