Dolby Theatre, Los Angeles, CA —

After President Trump bestowed the nation’s highest civilian honor, The Medal of Freedom, to this washed-up radio host, the accolades continued with an overlooked Purple Heart ceremony. “This man is a true hero. He is great. The radical liberals don’t like him. I like him. It’s sad all the hate. You know who is hateful? Nancy Pelosi. She ripped up my words. She is a terrible disgrace,” President Trump reportedly said as he pinned the Purple Heart onto this small man’s bigoted chest.

“And now this? I never thought I’d be here. But the more I think about it, the more I know I have earned this,” Limbaugh beamed, clutching his Oscar.

By Emily Sanchez